It was a stormy night where Holly stayed indoors to play. While observing her, she had so much passion and joy. But does this one sided view tell the story of her whole youth period?
(Please watch the video. It is only a minute and a half, but has a very important topic to cover for the rest of this post)
“Oh honey, how was work?” Holly plays with her dolls.
“What would you like for dinner?”
As Holly played with her dolls, one of them lost an arm. Holly called and went to her mother with the doll and broken arm piece in hand. The mother was on the phone with her “honey” having a pleasant conversation as suggested by her laughter. Holly successfully obtained her mother’s attention. Mom puts down the phone and turns to Holly abruptly.
“What?” The mother said with annoyance.
“Can you fix this for me?” Holly raises her toys.
The mother looked at the toy, then at Holly with seemingly, impending indignation. She grabs the doll and throws it down. Holly is scared, signaling that this wasn’t the first time that-
“Now listen here you ungrateful loving brat!” Mom raises her voice. “You’re going to show your loving mother some little respect!” She pushes Holly. “Let’s go!” She immediately grips Holly and drags her outside, slamming the door of the front entrance of the house to leave her daughter in the rain after yelling more.
“I didn’t do anything Mom.” Holly softly whispers looking down and covering herself from the cold.
As time shifts into the future at an unknown period, we hear a loud bang on the door in front of a now grown-up Holly. Holly appears to have locked herself into a secular room away from her mother who repeatedly bangs on the door violently.
“Get outta there, I’m going to beat the crap!” Explicitly yelled mom, “Get outta there you stupid whore!”
“Let me alone!” Holly shouts back. “I can’t take this anymore!”
As mom continues to throw offensive words at her daughter, grown-up Holly opens and leaves through the window behind her. Mom continues to throw explicit words now echoing in the background. The video concludes with Holly walking away from that terrible place and fading to black.
“How long will this go on without your help?” Followed by, “National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD”
It was hard…hard for me to watch this video the first time around. Friends and I have remembered being toss out of the house like Holly by relatives.
Why was this video created and what did I choose to show it? It’s because it’s an issue that is not always obvious and requires a careful awareness.
What they don’t tell us
Child abuse should be brought to attention and its consequences directly relate with fellow classmate, Dreanna’s post about “child rage,” Destruction of the Mind, Body, and Soul. How could parents treat their children like this? They wouldn’t harm their pet(s) or friends, but would do this to a child who traditionally should be the figure closer to the parent than a friend?
The effects of child abuse shouldn’t be ignored. The article, provides additional in depth overview of the issue. Child abuse has been on the rise during recent years. They come in different manifestations that are mutating even today.
-Child abuse occurs every ten seconds (In the nation only)
-Child abuse can occur regardless of socioeconomic, ethnics, culture or education status
-Costs of child abuse have range up to $124 billion in 2008.
-Maltreatment was not accurately displayed in this investigation, but 50-60% of child abuse have led to death.
When a parent physically attacks a child, that child learns that aggression is appropriate for handling conflicts and performs it when away from parents, say at school. In addition, children under age 4 die from abuse in 70% cases.
Some say it isn’t abuse unless violence is involved. This is not really true as emotion can be just as damaging as physical contact (Correlating to how cyberbullying seems more impacting than traditional bully). The child can be given the “silent treatment,” being ignored as punishment. Yelling, constant belittling, shaming and humiliating are another set of extreme cases. And because the parent is supposingly the main source of protection and caregiver, losing this essential bond may cause the child to not know what a healthy relationship is. She may end up in poor relationships imaginable during her journey through school, workplace and marriage.
Perhaps another form of this hidden, dark world is neglecting. Some parents see that their responsibility is to only give food and nothing else to the child. This is not enough. Child neglect occurs when a child does not have sufficient food, clothing, hygiene or supervision. Besides homeostasis, the parent may not do anything or stick to emotional abuse should the child develop diseases, both physically and mentally. This includes depression or an injury. The parents’ judgmental ability may, of course, be affected by use of alcohol or other mental conditions. But in the end, the child suffers.
Substance abuse may even become more of a problem. Returning to the graph shown above, two-thirds of abused individuals have reported being abused. In fact, a third of abused victims will be more likely to use substance before their 18th birthday.
In the long run, as children mature, just like Grown-up Holly in the video, they probably won’t show signs of any abuse (This wasn’t covered in the video) as they have already adapted for the real world. Still, victims are still at risk of continuing this terrible cycle. About 30% of abused children can later abuse their own children. It is true that abused victims are most likely to repeat this form of child abuse in later generations, but those who developed awareness are carrying data to the next generation. Those parents, whom developed such awareness, will have a strong motivation to protect their children again from they have encountered.
Please, don’t ignore what trauma or PTSD can do. Again, I will bring up fellow classmate, Dreanna’s Post, Destruction of the Mind, Body, and Soul. Child abuse can lead to criminal activities in the future:
-14% of men and 36% of women in prison were abused as children.
-Children who experience child abuse or neglect are 9 times likely to commit criminal acts.
This is very disturbing. Both bullying and child abuse contribute to the shootings occurring in recent years, including this year. Parts of the children’s brains were poorly developed.
To the Horizons
Since doing this post, I have become more awareful in my surroundings. If I see others smoke, they have a story. If I see others with a bad group of friends, they have a story. If I see others shoplift, they have a story. If someone carries a weapon to school, they have a story. The story is the same and it could possibly be that same cycle of that hidden, dark world unconscious to all. It’s none other than what happened during the beginning when they were given birth.
When I see parents abusing their kids, it was something I wouldn’t want to treat my own children. Others, including relatives, tell me it’s not right to tell other parents how to treat their kids. I strongly disagree. If people can stand up to bullying in school or protesting in political matters, why can’t we do the same to cases of child abuse? People’s failure to notice other human beings’ sufferings relates to my other posts of “Behind the Human Exterior” and “Don’t Wait.” Why are we oblivious to what is going around in the world?
Children are like new grown seeds. If poison water or any polluting substance touches the seed, its growth is severely affected as it matures and affects other seeds. Children are no exception to this analogy. Trauma haunts the helpless child unable to realize or act out of this terrible situation. The abusing parents have already put a ticking time bomb inside their own child. It must stop and it will end this century as long every human being with a heart heeds this.